The 2012 Pulse Wrestling Awards – The KON edit

You can read the full thing with everyone else’s thoughts here, but you’re on my site right now, so fuck everyone else…

BEST NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR

 Brock quits via Tout

Good job working those “internet marks”, Vince.

**rolls eyes**

BEST STORYLINE OF THE YEAR

The Continuing Adventures of Team Hell No

Kane’s going to Disneyland!

BEST PROMO OF THE YEAR

Colt Cabana and Adam Pearce Telling the NWA to Fuck the Fuck Off

I’m not even a Colt fan, but come on.

MATCH OF THE YEAR

Lord Tensai vs Alex Riley (RAW on the 2nd of April)

Have you seen Alex Riley since?

BEST INDY PROMOTION

Chikara

Three words: King of Trios

BEST SPECIAL EVENT OF THE YEAR

WWE Tribute to the Troops

Regardless of the political motivation behind this, it’s one of the few good things WWE do. I still wish Cap came out and sung about bonds.

BEST TV SHOW

Spike’s Short-Lived Pre-Impact Impact Recap Show

It lasted an hour and managed to cover everything that happened on Impact the week before, but without making me want to dive down an open elevator shaft with a pogo stick rammed up my arse.

MOST IMPROVED

Dolph Ziggler

The guy learned to talk over the past year, you can’t argue with that.

BEST NON-WRESTLING PERSONALITY

JBL

Commentary got a whole lot better when Lawler had that heart attack.

FEMALE WRESTLER OF THE YEAR

AJ Lee

Blair is slowly searching for a shotgun right now, but how the fuck can it not be AJ? The two “highest profile” uh, wimmins in “sports entertainment” right now are Brooke Hogan and this girl, so I don’t exactly have a wide range to choose from.

WRESTLER OF THE YEAR

Muh Boy D-Bry Right Here

Facial hair came back to wresting in a big way this year (Sandow, Cody-tache, etc.) and nobody is rocking a better chin-warmer than this guy. I assure you, the beard alone could have 5-star matches with the likes of Great Khali.