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Maybe i’m in the 10% & Punk V Cena thoughts

July 17, 2011

Yeah, it’s wrestling time, you might want to skip this if you don’t enjoy watching (sometimes homophobic) men in tight lycra & pvc Speedos grabbing each other a lot. I mean, they have, uh, wimmins matches too, but those aren’t really wrestling (or sports entertaiment) as much as they are astonishing displays of hair pulling abilities & the progress the silicone industry has made in the last 20 years or so.

Where to start then?

That logo says “we are bold” “We’re the company that’s not afraid to have people say “shit” or “ass hole” and talk about erectile dysfunction”. More than that, it says “We tried red, so now we have to use blue. WCW taught us that only blue and red could be used for wrestling logos”. You can’t blame them for the last one though, Vince did the same thing when he said yes to Smackdown.

Did you know TN- erm, Impact Wresting ran a PPV last week that was better than any other PPV they’ve put on during the Hogan era?
No? I can’t blame you, it’s not like they were promoting it every week on Impact, it’s not like they spent any time building storylines that would come to a head on the show either. Here’s the last 4 weeks of Impact:

AJ/Joe/some other guy who gets constantly looked over by whoever is doing the booking that week comes out & says something about the ppv, the crowd goes wild. AJ/whoever has a match & loses & we also get told they lost a house show match that was part of the Bound For Glory tournament.
TNA jobbed out the people who the PPV would be built around for four weeks in order to promote a PPV happening in October.

OCTOBER!

People on twitter were blaming Russo because it’s easy to blame Russo, but if you look at the cruiserweight cluster-fuck in WCW, it was Bishoff running the show back then. He seems to be the guy who booked Rey losing his mask & the whole Nash angle that went with it, he booked Nash as an ultra-heel (something that used to happen with every big guy) & it worked. People hated Nash, Rey got a big push (at the cost of his mask, but it didn’t stop him from putting it back on when Vince called) and everyone was as happy as they could be during the start of WCW’s downfall.

Bischoff re-used the NWO almost as soon as he got his foot in the door, so it makes sense that he’d try other things that worked back then.
Lets have a look at the ODB thing:

When Raven first showed up on WCW he was in the audience & everyone  (well, if you knew who he was) was going crazy. Raven spent about 6 months on WCW programming “without a contract” & would send one of his “lackeys” to wrestle for him if he didn’t feel like fighting. It worked & it not only built Raven, but it gave Saturn & Kidman the push they needed (Van Hammer not so much, but come on, it was Van fucking Hammer). It was one of the great long-winded storylines that WCW let run at the time (the other being the 9 month build up to Sting v Hogan).

The reason the same thing isn’t working with ODB & Jackie? It’s kinda simple
1. Jackie was with TNA 2 years ago, people know who she is & that she’s only getting the push because she’s a former WWF employee. ODB had been off-screen for all of 8 months & she wasn’t much of a name back then either. The story is being wasted on two people who we don’t need to be introduced to, two people who we already know not to care about.
2. Raven would declare that every match he competed in would fall under “Raven’s Rules” (no DQ), people would get excited because they didn’t know what was going to happen. TNA has Mike Tenay say “you know, these two are not under contract, so they may not stick to the stipulation” during the match, flat out telling us the ending & making us waste the next five mins waiting for it to happen.
How do they stop this from happening? Push people who need it & don’t give away the ending of your matches. That’s kinda “Booking 101” i guess, but maybe they’ll learn from their mistakes.

TNA’s most successful(?) ppvs had 30,000 & 20,000 buys last year. Impact got 1,847,000 viewers at the start of March this year & while i don’t know the buy-rate for any of the recent ppv’s, 10% of 1,847,000 is 184,700.
I’m no business man, but if the number of people complaining about your product = at least 6 x the number of people paying to watch your show, well, it might be worth listening to them, or at least not insulting them online. For all the blandness of WWE, Vince isn’t blogging about how he thinks his viewers are cunts.

Which brings me to…

Much like that of TN- erm, Impact Wrestling, WWE’s logo says all you need to know about the product, it says “Attitude, but neutered”.

Randy Orton runs Smackdown as the face who boasts about kicking people in the head for fun & “going to that place only Orton goes” (the cinema that was showing That’s What I Am, i guess)
John Cena rules Raw with an iron fist, iron head, iron chest, iron legs… A recent PPV showcased his ability to survive the A-bomb. With that in mind, i’m going to post potential spoilers. If you don’t want tonight’s main event ruined, you better look away now…

CENA WINS!

I have no source other than the knowledge of how WWE have booked Cena during his career. I like that the R-Truth v Cena & C.M. Punk v Cena feuds have been the same. R-Truth’s version of the feud was more comedic, but his point was much the same as Punk’s during the “shoot” that everyone got hyped up over. R-Truth’s version will work as a parody of the C.M Punk one when it’s all said & done.

I get it though, WWE’s booking team know Cena is boring people & they need to do something to keep them caring until the match with The Rock at next year’s Wrestlemania. Teasing the fans with Cena’s downfall will only work a few times before people get bored with it as well (look at how long everyone has been sick of Immortal over on TNA & we know they’re dragging that angle out until October). After the hugeness (i can’t think of another word to describe it) of the Punk “shoot” I don’t think anyone else on the Raw roster will be able to make us believe they will take Cena down, that’s why they are using Punk to make Cena popular with an older crowd.

As boring as i find it,  i cant blame them.

All logos are property of their respective owners & are used under fair use (don't sue me, bro).
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