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Youshoot: Chyna

December 26, 2011

I wrote this over on theddt about a month ago & the thread died on it’s arse.

It was painful to watch the DVD, so I feel it’s worth re-posting here in order to warn anyone who could be thinking about buying it.

 

1.30 – Chyna talks about her role as a phenomenon during the expansion of the business.
I was not aware of any work she did for Crockett Promotions, the NWA or Vince during the 80’s.

2.00 – Chyna talks about being one of the top ranked athletes in the world.
Maybe she should get together with Sheik & compare medals.

2.20 – “Physically, I was an animal”
A beast, for sure.

2.40 – Chyna talks about being the first powerful role-model for uh, wimmins.
Thatcher is spinning in her grave.
Wait, she’s not dead yet? Maybe someone should tell her…

3.40 – Her favourite wrestler when she was growing up = her brother.
I’m sure she’s gonna talk about being abused as a child at some point (X-Pac mentioned it during his Youshoot, saying they both had the same childhood experiences & whatnot), so I’m gonna hold off on this.

5.32 – She made the transition from body-building (read: consuming record amounts of HGH) to wrestling after failing auditions for commercials.
I wonder why.

6.36 – Chyna says she’s always been into “body-sculpting”.
Kinda explains why it looks like her face is made from playdoh.

7.01 – Chyna can’t think of any good things regarding her time with Killer Kowalski.
Don’t do drugs, kids.

7.30 – “I didn’t really start wrestling until I stepped in the ring”
Sage words, sage words indeed.

8.20 – Sean: “What promoters do you remember working with on the New England scene?”

Chyna: “I remember buying a bright blue bathing suit”

It’s gonna be a long night.

TNA

9.04 – Chyna talks about loving Vince Russo.
She does this for quite a while, so I think she’s actually using this shoot to try & get a job.

10.30 – Chyna says TNA didn’t call her after the PPV she showed up on.
I wonder why.

11.15 – On hearing Bischoff’s remark that she brought nothing to TNA: “He told me I looked great & I felt the same”
*insert laughing emoticon here*

12.43 – Chyna puts Vivid Entertainment & all their staff over.
She really is applying for jobs with this.

14:40 – “My phone is always open to the wrestling business, i’ll never say never”
See above.

Thank fuck Youshoot show the videos of the guys asking questions. Those guys are the only reason i’m watching this.
The other Youshoot DVDs are all quite good & Sean Oliver (the host) usually has a lot of fun with the guests, but he looks really uncomfortable during this.

16.00 – Danny Doring asks if she only put Russo over in a previous interview because she was in negotiations with TNA & says he’ll never watch Backdoor To Chyna. Her reply: “No, I love Vince Russo”.

I’m considering giving up on this. I thought recapping a 3 hour Nitro was hard, but this? Fucking torture.

DRUGS

17.40 – Chyna: “Got any?”
Sean: “Not here, you’re with the wrong crew”

18.20 – Chyna says HHH had fitness down to a science & taught her how to eat properly. She says she took creatine powder, sugar supplements after working out & lots of protein drinks.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but I don’t think it was creatine that made her clit larger than X-pac’s dick.

19.28- China says she never took testosterone.
I’ve got bullshit on line two…

19.40 – She never seen any of the uh, wimmins taking steroids & the guys were “doing what they gotta do”.

What’s in The Bag?

Jack Daniels – Chyna: “um, cowboy guys”

Sean:”The Smoking Guns?”

Chyna: “erm, yeah”

Grass – “You know” (X-Pac)
Pills – “Me”
Coke – “I don’t want to say her name, but that’s more of a girlie thing from what I saw”
Syringe (Roids or Heroin) – “That’s getting dark, moving on…”
Crack – Chyna: “I can’t say his name” *fakes vomiting*

Sean: “oh, him again…”

15 inch black rubber cock – “Goldust”

From here on out I’ll only include shit worth mentioning. She’s not exactly candid & doesn’t have a good memory (surprise, surprise).

29.22 – Seems to say that the 2010 sleeping pills overdose was intentional. She had money, financial & mental problems, her family wouldn’t talk to her, she was still having troubles with X-Pac (even though he was down in mexico at the time with Ryan Shamrock, locking himself in a bathroom & shit) & couldn’t take any more.

She says it wasn’t the first time she tried to kill herself & thought the mental hospital she was sent to was the best place for her.
I’m inclined to agree.

REALITY

I haven’t seen any of these reality shows, so I won’t be commenting much on the stuff she’s saying.

34 mins – Chyna thinks WWF/E is more staged than shows like Surreal Life because of the hierarchy in wrestling & the unpredictable nature of reality programming. She doesn’t talk to any of the Surreal Life cast these days & says she likes to keep herself to herself. She puts the producers of Surreal Life over, even though the show was pretty much about exploiting a bunch of unwell people.

40 mins – Celebrity Rehab was a pay-day. She thinks the 12 step program was more for alcohol & drug problems & that they didn’t really touch on her mental health problems.

DIVAS

47 mins – Chyna implies that she was the hottest uh, wimmin in the locker-room.

ALTERATIONS 

53 mins – Chyna paid for her first set of fake tits & suggests that Vince paid for another set, probably because Savio Vega burst one of her implants during a chain match.

Real of Fake?

Tammy – “real?”
Ivory – “fake”
Lita – “fake”
Molly Holly – “fake”
Sable – “fake”
Deborah – “Fake”
Lilian García – “real”
Trish – “fake”
Terri Runnels – “fake”
Miss Kitty – “fake”
Stephanie McMahon – “fake”

DEAR CHYNA…

1 hour – “you have to be able to wrestle to wrestle”
More sage words.

PORN

Tony Atlas is really into feet.

video related:

SEX

Fuck/Marry/Kill Round 1:
Kill X-Pac
Kill Hunter
Marry Jeff fuckin’ Jarrett

Fuck/Marry/Kill round 2:
Casey Anthony
OJ Simpson
Stephanie McMahon

Chyna said she’d fuck them all & get paid a lot of money for it.

Top Cock:
Rather than list the DX members by size, Chyna takes away the prop vegetables to keep her company on the road.

X-PAC

1 hour, 19 mins – Chyna: “One Night in Chyna was something that was done to me”, “I call it “The Rape Tape” & it was a horrible experience”.

Sean Oliver called the Stern show when Chyna was on in order to clarify the rape remark, the audio can be found here.

HHH

Nothing much is said during this segment.

The Dirt

Chyna & Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake were an item long before she got into wrestling.

The Ho Bag:
Lilian García – “no”
The Kat – “no”
Tori – “no”
Nicole Bass – “don’t know”
Snookie – “yes”
Marlena – “yes”
SoCal Val – “who?”
Christy Hemme – “no”
Ryan Shamrock – “don’t know”
Karen Angle – “don’t know”
Mary Carey – “no”
Adrianne Curry – “no”
Amy Fisher – “yes”
Sunny – “no”
Stephanie McMahon – “yes”
Trish Stratus – “no”
B.B. (Barbara Bush) – “I don’t know who that is”
Lita – “no”
Deborah – “no”
Jacquelyn – “no”
Ivory – “no”
Sarah Palin – “no”
Sable – “no”
Molly Holly – “no”

CRITICS

Nothing of any interest here either.

HEAT

What A Dick:

Road Dogg – “cool”
Kevin Dunn – “cool”
Joey Buttafuoco – “cool”
Hulk Hogan – “cool”
Dr. Drew – “cool”
Billy Gunn – “cool”
Chris Jericho – “cool”
Rico Rodriguez – “cool”
HBK – “cool”
The Rock – “cool”
Jeff Jarrett – “cool”
Shane McMahon – “cool”
The Undertaker – “cool”
Howard Stern – “cool”
Kurt Angle – “cool”
Bischoff – “dick”
X-Pac – “dick”
HHH – “dick”
Masahiro Chono – “cool”
Peter Brady – “cool”
Vince McMahon – “dick”
Vince Russo – “cool”
Mark Henry – “cool”
Lawler – “cool”
Cornette – “dick”

PARTING WORDS

Sean gives her a chance to clear up any misconceptions about her that are flying around & she doesn’t bother.

THE END

I’m a big fan of the Youshoot series, but this one was hard to watch.
The questions were good, but Chyna clearly has a lot of problems & most of her answers came off as fake.
She didn’t really open up or talk about anything we haven’t already heard, so I can’t say I’d recommend this one.

Click here to buy directly from Kayfabe Commentaries. I’m not sure why you’d want to after reading this post, but if pain is your thing…

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